Bill Matt

To lighten your day (or night), I present you with this funny blog entry on a 1977 JC Penny Catalog. (LINK) WARNING: Some cheeky language.


And here are a few political jokes:

It was election time, again. So, a politician decided to go out to the local reservation to gather support from the Native Americans. They were all assembled in the Council Hall to hear the speech.

The politician had worked up to his finale, and the crowd was getting more and more excited. "I promise better education opportunities for Native Americans!"
The crowd went wild, shouting "Hoya! Hoya!"

The politician was a bit puzzled by the native word, but was encouraged by their enthusiasm. "I promise gambling reforms to allow a Casino on the Reservation!"
"Hoya! Hoya!" cried the crowd, stomping their feet.

"I promise more social reforms and job opportunities for Native Americans!"
The crowd reached a frenzied pitch shouting "Hoya! Hoya! Hoya!"

After the speech, the politician was touring the Reservation, and saw a tremendous herd of cattle. Since he was raised on a ranch, and knew a bit about cattle, he asked the Chief if he could get closer to take a look at the cattle.
"Sure," the Chief said, "but be careful not to step in the hoya."


Here's another:

A bus load of politicians were driving down a country road, when the bus ran off the road and crashed into a tree in an old farmer's field. The old farmer, after seeing what happened, went over to investigate. A few days later, the local sheriff came out looking for the missing politicos, saw the crashed bus, and asked the farmer where all the politicians had gone.
The farmer said, "I buried 'em all... out back."
The sheriff then asked, "Were they ALL dead?"
The old farmer replied, "Well, some of them said they weren't, but you know how them politicians lie."

And one more:

The politician lost the election and was forced to look for a job. To the personnel manager he admitted that he had both good and bad traits. "What are your good traits?" asked the interviewer. "Well, said the politician, "I can do a job better than any person in the world. A dozen of the countries' largest companies are bidding for my services. I could unquestionably double your business within a month or two if you hire me." Said the personnel manager, "That's very impressive. What about your bad traits?" Said the politician, "There's only one. I have been known to exaggerate occasionally.."

Labels: Bill Matt, humor, lansing city council, political jokes